Interview with ForPlay
(Source)

(At a concert)
Myles:  Thank you very much.  We are Alter Bridge, welcome to the rock n' roll show!  How're you guys doing tonight?  You guys are obviously doing great, how about you all in the back, how are you doing this evening?  I dunno... I dunno... we'll get them (no idea) in a second.

(On a couch in some gross motor home or something)
Girl:  Alright, let's say you guys are gonna die.  Okay?
Scott:  Sssure
Girl:  What!!  Go along with me.
Scott:  Okay.
Girl:  You have an option to save yourself.  Now keep in mind you're going to die, you have to do one or the other to save yourself.  Alright?  Would you [Myles] either... drink a cup of his [Brian's] chunky vomit, a full cup, well I mean for you [Brian] it's his [Myles']  chunky vomit
Brian:  Like fear factor
Girl:  Well, along the lines, but you're gonna die if you don't do it.  Fear factor, you don't do it and you just don't get the fifty thousand dollars.
Scott:  Chunky vomit.. or you die
Girl:  Or, you could either bathe in one of your groupies' bathtub full of diarrhea.
Myles:  Oh, diarrhea any day.
Girl:  You have to submerse yourself...
Myles:  Yeahh as long as it isn't going into my body, then...
Scott:  Let me ask a question, what situation would I be in where jumping in a tub of diarrhea  would save my life?  How does that work?  I mean...
like if I'm in the tub of diarrhea then I'm not on the train tracks where the train would kill me, I mean, is that how that works?
Girl:  I really didn't think of that scenario that far down the line, but, uh...
Myles:  Let's say you've got a skin disorder and the only thing that'll fix it is human diarrhea.
Girl:  Yeah!  That scenario.
Myles:  It's possible.
Girl:  (To scott) which one are you going with?
Scott:  I'd do the poop swim.  I guess I'd have to, I mean, it's that or (I dunno), so, I'd say do the Hershey Highway breast stroke.
(All laughing)
Girl:  Alright, and we will be back.

Myles:  Hey what's up, I'm Myles.
Scott:  I'm scott
Brian:  I'm Brian, from Alter Bridge.
Myles:  You are watching ForPlay.
Girl:  So, what do you guys do for fun?  Seeing how, the last interview we had, you were just sitting in the trailer all day.  Well, from what I saw.  What do you do?
Scott:  Well, we uh, like to sit in the trailer.  All day.  Sometimes we'll look out the window. 
Girl:  That's an active life here.
Myles:  Actually, Brian has something he does in his spare time.
Girl:  Oh, what is it?
Myles:  He likes to 'wax the monkey'.  He likes to, 'choke the chicken'.
Brian:  Scientific term, otherwise known as masturbation.
Myles:  He's actually writing a book on that.
Brian:  Usually if we have a day off in the hotel room, it can get up to six to ten times a day.  If my wife's out with me, then it's...
Scott:  ...fifteen, twenty, yeah.
Girl:  Have you been caught?
Myles:  You know what, I think I caught him once.  I think I did because...
Brian:  ...I instantly climaxed.
Girl:  Oh, see, it's the long hair, the big blue eyes.
Scott:  That's disgusting.
Myles:  It was in Germany.  It was the first time we went to Europe, at the time we were doubling up on rooms to kinda cut corners, and I opened up the door, and I think I caught him unexpectedly, and something was on the laptop, and I think it was like third-cousins dot com, and all of a sudden, the laptop's down and it's kinda like (leans foward, as if to hide an erection) 'hey dude, what's up?' "
Scott:  I remember one of our first trips, over to Europe, when Marshall and I were rooming together.  I was going to wander out and get some food, I had left the room and I think I realized that I had left my wallet or something, and I had not gotten ten feet down the hallway, and I came back in, and he's sitting on the edge of the bed watching a porn.  How quick are you man?!
Brian:  You guys can put all this on me if you want, but this is transferrance.  This is exactly what they do, they just kinda put it on me.

Girl:  If you could be anything else, other than a musician, what would you be?  (Points to Myles) he would be a ballerina.
Myles:  I would not be a ballerina.
Scott:  Gosh, she knows him so well, you know?
Myles:  You guys are all ganging up on me.
Girl:  We're gonna have a patadou(?) later.
Scott:  Okay.
Myles:  We're gonna have what?
Girl:  A patadou(??), that's the partner dance.
Myles:  Partner dance?
Scott:  See, I was agreeing like I knew what she was talking about, I was like "oh yeah, of course we are."
Myles:  I was like "fondue?  What?  Let's make some fondue."
Scott:  "Would we need to shower afterwards?"
Girl:  Twirl him around... so seriously what would you be?
Scott:  Ummm, I have no clue.  Probably work at a Taco Bell.
Girl:  Really?!
Myles:  Why not Wendy's, cause you like Wendy's so much?
Scott:  You're a thinker.
Myles:  I'm a thinker, dude.
Scott:  He is a thinker.  I'd work at Wendy's.
Girl:  I worked at McDonald's for a year.  I really did.
Myles:  Can you say, "would you like that super-sized?"
Girl:  "Would you like that super-sized?"
Myles:  That sounds really different, when she says it.  That's a whole new slant on things.
Girl:  Now I am not ashamed.
Brian:  Did you have the hat on?
Girl:  I had a visor.
Brian:  The visor, huh?  Did you have a hair net, too?
Girl:  No, I didn't.  'Cause I was never allowed to work in the back, by the grill, flipping the burgers.  I was in the front, cashier.
Scott:  Did you work drive-thru?
Girl:  I did.  You know, I liked my job!  Did anyone else work at a fast food restaurant?
Brian:  You gotta have 'flare', too.  Were you wearing your 'fifteen pieces of flare'?
Girl:  I think that's a different...
Scott:  Isn't that Friday's, where they have to wear flare?
Girl:  So what about you?
Brian:  I would probably own that Taco Bell, where Scott worked.
Myles:  Oohhhh
Scott:  I assumed you would.
Brian:  Let's see, um.  I'd probably own like a music store, or a porn store, or... that's a joke... real estate?

Girl:  Now some pre-marital bliss.  We'll leave you [Brian] out because your wife is here.
Brian:  No, well that's okay, I mean
Myles:  No no, then he's probably the one to ask.
Scott:  She would be better in this interview than all of us, for sure.
Myles:  Yeah, she's very rock n' roll.
Girl:  Okay, let's say you meet this just incredibly hot, voluptuous girl, I mean you are instantly attracted to her.  But you find out later that she's your distant cousin.
Brian:  Wow
Girl:  Do you cut it off, pretend like it never happened, erase it from your memory, burn all momentos?  Or think, ugh, well you know it's your third, second cousin, it's legal.  It's legal.
Brian:  It's legal but you could come up with like the three-headed dog, or something.
Girl:  But isn't it after so many...
Brian:  You know, you intermingle, and...
Myles:  Three-headed dog, what are you talking about?!
Brian:  You know, if you intermingle, within the family, if he has sexual relations with like his cousin, isn't there some kind of risk?
Scott:  Well now, how far down does it go?  Is it like, third, fourth?
Girl:  We'll go with third, 'cause I know my second cousins, and that's just a little yeughhh.
Scott:  Third, I say you drop the hammer.
Brian:  Dogs and cats, I mean, they do it all the time, so it's no big deal right?
Scott:  That's true.
Girl:  Does anyone know how far down the genes last?  If it's legal, you'd think the whole genetic problem would be erased.
Scott:  I think there'd have to be, like, a divorce and then step-cousins, it'd have to be step-cousins.  If there's any blood line in there it'd be a little too weird.
Girl:  Would you try to just forget all about it, or hold on to the hot memory?
Myles:  Hold on to the hot memory.

Myles:  He and I actually both have a thing for mannequins.
Girl:  Like a fetish?
Myles:  I dunno was it is, I walk by a mannequin and it's like...
Scott:  It's the big packed muscles with the uni-gender sort of thing down beneath.
Brian:  Womannequins. 
Scott:  Hahahaha, never heard that before, that was pretty good.